Certainly most people go through bad break up one way or another and find it really difficult to come out of. Some times it pulls you down to rock bottom and can change a very “sparky” sanguine to a very “moody” melancholy. Yes relationship break-ups can have that kind of huge effects on us.
Quite frankly it can be excruciatingly painful going through a bad break up, you face emotional stress, psychological trauma and can lead to a total shut down of the entire victim for some months even transcending to years afterwards, if not properly handled.
Now that should not be the case! The good news is you can recover faster and healthier within a short period of time if you start focusing your energy differently.
Ultimately, the thing we control best is ourselves, but not if bad habits get in the way. The drama that typically accompanies breakups is something we cause. Sure, it may be unintentional, but we typically attract partners who not only match our strength, but also compliment our insecurities.
A Breakup is a difficult transitions, but with transitions come change. Getting over a break up can be regarded as an opportunity to tap into our relationships with ourselves, so we can learn, eventually, to find partners to match our authenticity, inner strength and self-respect.
To spring up from that depressed mood to an excited healthy ready-to-hit-my-goals here are 10 steps that would guide you through a bad break-up to a stronger self.
1. Reflect On The Passed Relationship
This is a must. In most cases after suffering from a bad break up we whisk away to the next one without reflecting on the flaws from the passed relationship. In this way we just keep going over in circles, getting hurt over and over again. Not till you take a break and reflect on the causes of your passed break-up, there is no moving forward to a healthy relationship for you.
2. Ask yourself, “Who do I want to be?”
Be imaginative. Recognize your power to create a clear vision of the kind of person you want to become in your life. What kind of lifestyle does that include? What kind of personality would you have?
3. Identify bad habits
Undoubtedly, some of the habits you brought into your relationship were self-destructive. Whatever your habits are, know that it’s going to take a concerted effort to identify them.
4. Imagine new, good habits.
From there, it will take time to figure out what kind of habits will help you become the kind of person you want to be. Only then can you begin the path to change these habits. It is a process, so be patient with yourself.
5. Get Interactive With Family And Friends
This is the point in time where you definitely do not need to be alone most times. Get Interative! With friends, families, colleagues and so on. Nothing will make you feel so alone as actually being disconnected to the people close to you — who you’ve most likely known prior to the breakup. These people will remind you of a different kind of love, one that you can feel even during this hard time.
6. Have Some Fun!
Hitting the nail on the head, do things that virtually makes you happy, try doing something just for fun so you don’t have to brood over the past. It may seem difficult the first times but push on, this will reduce your feelings of depression
7. Work out — a lot.
Exercise can function like an antidepressant. This can feel hard to believe when you are in a state of depression — but don’t let your feelings stop you from moving forward. Start with a 20 minute walk every single morning, without exception, and you will have built in a light workout to your routine. This is also an effective way to show yourself you can create new habits. That in itself is powerful.
8. Get A Life!
Well if you don’t have one, this is the time you NEED one. You have to get something doing that would take your mind of the feelings of the passed relationship.
9. Set a big goal.
To achieve a big goal, you will need to have grit, determination, and consistency, and these can be strengthened along the way. This journey will help you take your attention off of your past relationship; instead, you’ll be working on something which requires your attention.
By changing the tune of your life with these simple steps, you will allow yourself not only to consider further changes you want to make in your own life, but how you will want your future relationships to change to better suit your new-and-improved self!
10. Try a “coffee meditation.”
Ever heard of coffee naps? A coffee nap is an awesome way to become more alert during the day. But my own variation — the coffee meditation — seems to be just as effective, or at least it still feels great.
Try drinking a cup of coffee right before laying down with your timer on 20 minutes. Use this time as an opportunity to re-charge and energize: let go of everything and focus on your breathing.
That’s It! Believe me I know it’s not easy but you seriously have to make a decision and come out from your passed and face the future. Sometimes things happen to us to bring out the best in us. So rise up and be a better you.