This is a very interesting write – up on events happening on Nigerian local resturants.
Being a bachelor has taken me to several kinds of iya Amina, Embassy, Mama Bee and other local canteens in Osogbo, so i felt i had to share my experience of various kind of people i meet:
1. The Oppressors:
These type of people are often very fat, they sit down and the girls come down to them to take their order, you hear stuffs like;
“4 wraps of pounded yam with egusi, put panla, ponmo, ogunfe, assorted and meat, with cold stout and bottle water”.
N.B: all the meats, fish, ponmos, assorted are brought in several plates for them to eat as much as possible.
2. The Voracious eater:
These set of people are normally slim, and unlike the oppressors, they go to order their food, you can recognize them when you hear;
“madam give me 8 fufu, no 10 cos i never chop since morning, 3meat, 2ponmo, orobo coke (50cl) and 2 pure water”.
3. The Acagons:
Na these ones tire me pass, they are the downgraded versions of the voracious eater, and they are well known by the madam. They believe in quantity over quality, you will hear;
“iya bisi give me as usual, and the madam puts 9 wraps of fufu with 1 lean meat”
NB: this set are the only ones that don’t order for water, they prefer the one on the table, used for washing hand”.
4. The formers:
These ones are mostly hated by the acagons and they are mostly a group of young girls sponsored by a maga. You will see there table filled with all sorts of meats, fish, ponmos, assorted and several chilled drinks, only for them to eat part of it and leave the rest to the feasting eyes of the acagon and voracious eater. After they leave, you start hearing comments especially from the acagons like ” haaaaa embarassed, ota aje ni awon omo yii o ( this girls are enemy of money o).
5. Father xmas:
This list is not complete without them, they are the popular ones in the hood, the acagons and voracious eater always pray to meet them in the canteen. If he enters, you start hearing “baba agbalagba, chairman, i remain loyal sir”
and he never dissapoints them too.
Feel free to add yours!!!